Reflections on suffering

I've been sick for the past week or so, and it's limited my motivation to do write (or do much else). But it's also made me reflect on the crucial role suffering plays in our lives.

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It started with a bang, and now I’m whimpering

I started with a bang here on Substack, and it turned into kind of a whimper over the past couple of weeks. It always makes me nervous when that happens, because usually that’s a sign that I’m “over it.” This often results in me abandoning and moving on from a thing. I’m writing this post, still sick, to assure myself that this is not the case. I’m simply sick.

Getting sick—like, really sick, the kind that moves in and kicks its feet up for a while—always has a mental component to it for me. The virus invisibly saps my life force which would be otherwise directed toward creative purposes. I find myself disconnecting from my spirit, living mainly in the world of human concerns and ego. Inspiration and motivation dissolve.

Rest is all I need, really, when this kind of thing happens. I rarely speak to a doctor anymore because they typically take my money and then write a prescription for something that has a placebo effect, at best, or which I could’ve just gone and purchased at Walgreens without the need for a doctor’s visit in the first place. I’ve literally had doctors prescribe me off-the-shelf cough drops in exchange for my visit fee. We depend far too much on the medical industry for minor afflictions such as this, often at the urging of our schools and employers. I usually get better results through rest, positive mindset, and meditation. The funny irony is rest takes a certain amount of work—to allow myself to just not do.

Reflecting on sickness

And with rest often comes reflection. Since I was a kid, lying in bed afflicted by whatever malady had taken over my body, I have often pondered the nature of sickness. Something that’s always stuck out to me is how crucial it is to be sick in order to really feel well.

I’d think, man, I can’t wait to feel good again. And then I’d think, what does it feel like to feel good? How come when I was feeling good as the status quo, I didn’t notice or appreciate it? Because of our nature to take things for granted whether we intend to or not. We require contrast in order to observe certain sensations and phenomena.

This is the nature of Taoism. It is the darkness that makes the light visible. Without these feelings of awfulness, we wouldn’t have a basis of comparison to allow us to experience the highest highs. All things strike a balance and have a dual nature in their completeness. This concept is succinctly represented by the yin yang symbol.

(Source: A Higher View)

So I’ve learned to take sickness in stride when it comes. That doesn’t mean I’m not miserable or I magically am able to ignore the sickness—I’m just able to experience it and lean into it fully without giving myself over to despair or impatience (“When will this all be over?!).

In other words, I’m working on being here now—even during the low points, the troughs and valleys—which is much harder than embracing the positive aspects of life, but I believe it’s necessary.

Sickness is only one form of suffering that we endure in our lives. No matter what we do, we can never escape all suffering and misery. With this knowledge, we can either choose to cower in fear of the inevitable or courageously turn to face the suffering. We’ll have to face it anyway, guaranteed; the difference is how we choose to meet the challenge.

Some folks face death with a smile

A recent friend I made through Substack, Jim Boylan, recently shared that he was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. I encourage you to read his post, which I’ve linked below.

I Am Beginning A New Adventure

Some folks might be crushed by the weight of such news, allow it to take over their minds, and prevent them from fully living with the time they have left. But not Jim.

The greatest news is that I do not have cancer. My body does. When I make my transition from this Human Experience back to my eternal self, the cancer will not follow me.

This leads to the question — What now? Nothing new. I am and will continue to be happy, joyous, and free. This is because, no matter how big the storm is, my God is bigger.

Thank you, God!

I happen to share Jim’s outlook on our souls’ separateness from our bodies. And I found his response to such heavy news to be inspiring. When I receive the news that my time is coming near, I plan to face it with the same level of courage. Because I know that life is a contract. We’re allowed to live it, but the other end of the bargain is that we must agree to step out of this realm when our time is through.

In a follow-up post, Jim shares that he’s decided not to undergo chemotherapy and has committed to sharing how he feels and what he’s experiencing as he goes toe-to-toe with metastatic liver cancer with the strategy of allowing God to steer the ship. I encourage you to subscribe to his Substack—his positive energy, enthusiasm, and lease on life are a beautiful thing to behold.

I’m Going To Beat Cancer! It’s A Piece Of Cake

Make tiny changes to the world

(Source: NPR)

I learned about the Scottish band Frightened Rabbit soon after the lead singer committed suicide by drowning. He had been struggling with depression for a while and felt that he’d had enough.

While he was here, though, he helped write a song called Head Rolls Off. It’s got a simple, profound line that’s stuck with me ever since I heard it; I’ll include the whole chorus for context, but the key line is highlighted:

When it's all gone, something carries on
And it's not morbid at all
Just when nature’s had enough of you
When my blood stops, someone else's will not
When my head rolls off, someone else's will turn
And while I'm alive, I'll make tiny changes to earth

It’s an acknowledgement of our inherent transience, but it’s not nihilistic—it’s saying, “I know I’m one person, but I make a difference, so I’m going to do that with the time I have here.”

Scott Hutchison struggled with mental health and was open about that—many of us do, including me. But he was able to see through the ugliness to find something true and beautiful. We all die, but not at the same time. So there’s always a chance to make a difference as we pass the baton from one generation to the next.

Here’s the music video for the song:

The point I’m trying to make is that we all suffer in one way or another. That suffering doesn’t have to define us or control us. We can still maintain a positive outlook—and perhaps that is what really makes all the difference.

I hope you all have a safe, happy, sickness-free Thanksgiving. Until next time.